September 7, 2009

Merriman Fights Alcohol Addiction

That son of a bitch just gets infuriated with the repercussions of tequila shooters. When he get's his hands around that patron bottle there's nothing stopping him. Hell, the man thinks Tequila is his girlfriend now. I know you haven't been doing a lot of calisthenics to get blood flow into the brain lately, due to injury and steroid suspension, but there is no excuse for dating inanimate objects. (Bubb opens door, "you know that it's referring to Tila Taquila right?")

Fuck, He's dating a porn star? I would feel safer sticking my dick in a Tequila bottle filled with liquid nitrogen, and chlamydia. Then again, he was risky enough to inject substances into his ass with the likelihood of shrinking his testicles. And who knows, maybe the strangling was part of the script. I mean, aren't porns usually scripted? You don't see Katherine Heigl complaining to cops about Seth Rogan's harry ass crushing her clavicle.
Ok, so maybe scripted beatings aren't so allowable these days.

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