October 20, 2009

Everson Griffen's Muscles are Unsportsmanlike

Against Notre Dame this past weekend, star Trojan defensive end, Everson Griffen, was penalized after a sack for this display of physical prowess:

That officiating decision to throw the flag was reactionary and, for the fans, enraging. I would like to point out that this photo (now Griffen's facebook profile pic) was snapped prior to that very referee's display of flag-tossing idiocy. Is he attempting to stop Griffen from what has already happened? Is he trying to, albeit unsuccessfully, tell Griffen how big of a fan he is and ask for his autograph? No.


And just like any seasoned rapist/molester/pedophile, after he's had his fun, he thinks of some illogical justification to alleviate the blame of wrongdoing on himself. "I've done nothing wrong here. Your rippling muscles forced me to do it. Flag on you, spoilsport."

Wilt informs me that the referees were from the Big East, a conference that is home to the Providence FRIARS, RICK PITINO (an Irish-Catholic by association because of his tenure as the Celtics' coach) and SAINT JOHN'S UNIVERSITY. With the conference's abundance of cross-worshiping, this event comes at even less of a surprise.  But this time the harassment isn't statutory in nature, just non-consensual. All is forgiven under the gaze of Touchdown Jesus, right?

Griffen's Schwarzenegger impression was duplicated at least once more before the end of the game (I missed the divine intervention at the end when Mr. Christ decided to fuck over all the USC fans who went for a double-whammy by betting them to cover the 10-point spread) by Golden Tate. However, Tate was never groped by an official, nor did he receive a yellow piece of cloth thrown at him. I can only assume this was because...well...read the first sentence of this article and it becomes pretty obvious. Nothing that valuable or prominent should ever be defiled before God.

And although the zebras might have just been trying to appease their lord with a sacrificial offering, it was ultimately no match for the REAL second coming.

That's right, fuck you McRadfordBow. You'll always be second.

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