October 20, 2009

Mountaineers Might Stab Themselves in the Back

Most of the nation has heard the horrible Darrent Willimasesque story coming out of Storrs the past few days. Cornerback Jasper (Jazz) Howard was shanked (by a husky brand blade I assume) on Sunday morning at a party, school sponsored none the less. Although it is tragic (as every single media outlet would so clichely described it), it is a reminder for us students that life isn't so safe cushiony as you are told as a child in The Very Hungry Caterpillar. It's a tough world, full of Steve McNair girlfriends, and un-safetied handguns in sweatpants, but it is good to know that people will remember you, even if tragedy strikes.


Today, the parents of Jazz (someone with that badass nickname will never die in peoples hearts) came to the team to hug the players still living. No, not just the secondary, or the defense. Everyone, including the 4'2" kicker. Then to top off the day of mourning and wet eyes, the family spoke to the team, and had everyone on the team know that "they are playing for Jasper."

West Virginia has the Huskies this weekend. Might as well not show up Mountaineer fans. This one was over the second the blade hit Jazz's flesh. Not only that, but West Virginia is a ranked team. RANKED. So not only was this a game they circled on the schedule, but now they have a 12th man on the field in the form of super-ghost D-Back Jazz Howard.

So what does the cardinal direction Virginia plan to do as a combatant to the super-ghost? Kill Rich Rodriguez? Sacrafice a lamb? Plant an old indian skull on the field? No, they're having a moment of silence, that way UCONN won't forget they are doing this for reasons not their own. West Virginia didn't stop at that either. They also have stickers of Jazz's number 6 posted on their helmets for the game. That way, every time the Huskies sack the QB (which will total around the 40's, you know because of the whole super-ghost thing) defensive players will see the fallen comrade's number and remember why they should sack the QB again and again and again.

So, for all you West Virginians out there, you might want to bring a paper bag. Or maybe just two eye patches and a hockey mask because Saturday is going to be a bloody slasher of a game to say the least.

27 comments:

  1. You know what fuck you

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  2. nice unapologetically-insensitive-so-people-will-pay-attention-to-your-dumb-blog commentary, fucking retard.

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  3. aw, it wants attention, so cute. gonna need a new gimmick, bud. maddox has the asshole blogger genre pretty much locked down.

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  4. wow dude I would love to see you get slashed right in the fuckin mouth...someone should really stick their fucking dick in your worthless pie hole Have a nice day!

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  5. Pathetic loser.

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  6. i hope you get hit by a buss, and i hope your sister and mother die in a fire, you're a fuckin douche, you clearly have no respect for you or anyone, what if it was your brother or bestfriend? fuck you asshole.

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  7. Wow! Thank you. I hope you die a horrible death, you piece of shit. Please know that pissing everyone off is a bad thing, it's better that no one knows of your existence than for a ton of people to want you dead.

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  8. This site will be hacked and taken down shortly, enjoy your 15 minutes of shame....

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  9. i find it absolutely pathetic that you feel the need to make a mockery about what WVU is doing to HONOR a fallen player. it's about respect, something you clearly know nothing about. yes, the huskies will come on the field looking for a victory to relieve some tension, but wvu is still RANKED team as you so nicely put it and knows that kind gestures when the clock is off has nothing to do with what happens when the clock is rolling. i'm sure jasper was an amazing man, and clearly an amazing player. Rest in peace Jasper<3.

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  10. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for this. Utterly classless.

    R.I.P. Jazz

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  11. This will not be forgiven.

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  12. Seriously people, read what you are writing. You are as guilty as this individual by writing such vile comments.

    He has a 1st Amendment RIGHT to type whatever he wants as long as it isn't threatening anyone or petently offensive. Sure, distasteful, but nowhere near threatening or patently offensive.

    Look at yourselves! You are threatening a man's life and wishing him death and harm because he wrote with dark humor and sarcasm?

    Shame. On him and all of you.

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  13. Absolutely classless.
    I can't believe that you would post something so immature and heartless.
    I'm going to be at the game on Saturday as a Mountaineer fan, but we'll all be thinking about something else. WVU fans are some of the classiest in the country and they're definitely more classy than you are.
    How can you treat such a terrible event with such humor and sarcasm. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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  14. This "blog" is EXACTLY why we, as a society, should be extremely restrictive in teaching 12-year-olds how to use a computer!!

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  15. Wow dude, the U of Kansas must be real proud of you.I would you post such trash?

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  16. Kansas sucks dick just like you do. Fuck off

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  17. I think both teams should postpone the game and come beat the fuck out of you

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  18. I want to thank you, I thought I met the biggest dickhead in the world a few years back. I was wrong.

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  19. Why take this blog so seriously? The blogger obviously has a problem with West Virginia and wants them to get beat. UConn is good but not in the same tier as WV and I don't see the "ghost" overcoming the mismatch in talent. WV will only lose if they self-destruct, not because of superior skill or schemes by UConn, and certainly not because of any "ghost". Seriously.

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  20. How anyone of the human race could write such garbage is unfathomable! BTW, just who is Jazz WILLIAMS? I thought the player who was so tragically murdered was Jazz HOWARD!! Just goes to show what an ignorant, lazy, classless animal you are. Absolutely unforgivable!!!

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  21. Wow, this is a hideous read.... sounds like this guy has a serious problem with life. Best thing to do here, is take the high road and boycott anything this guy writes.

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  22. Dude! Are you crazy? Your parents are going to totally kick you out of their basement once they read what you wrote! How is someone with your maturity level EVER going to find a new place to live???

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  23. looking forward to your tragic death. Hopefully soon, and painfully.

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  24. You people need to get over yourselves. As a WVU fan, I can tell you that this death has probably impacted my life less than any other celebrity death this year, and none of them have impacted me that much.

    WVU is a bit over the top with the stickers on the helmet thing, too.....

    Still, I have no idea why people seek out and read things on the internet that offend them. If only the internet was a big enough place that they could read something else, or if it was ok to not read certain things if you dont like them... oh well.

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  25. keep pretending you are good people. Seriously, God reads blog comments and someday you'll be rewarded for your fake hurt and outrage.

    How many stabbings of young students happened in the last 6 months? Did any of you give a shit? Did the media give a shit? No, not until a precious football player is killed do any of you pretend to care. The guy, like most football players, was probably a drunk mouthy punk and if it was some random guy on the street half of you would be going "good, that'll teach him" but since he's a FOOTBALL PLAYER we have to create epic monuments to him?

    How about you pretend to care about the thousands of other murder victims in the world, and not just the celebs who you've never met, and shared no bond with.

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  26. Hey green lantern,
    nice generalizations about athletes. I suppose it's not ok to mourn the loss of a fellow human being. We should not give a fuck because he plays a sport. Just because you had social issues with athletes in your past doesn't justify an attempt to vilify someone you didn't even know. Sorry you got picked last in kickball every day at recess.

    To the author of this abomination- No class. You should really consider not having kids. Ever

    de mortuis nil nisi bonum-Say nothing but good things about the dead

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