LeBron James' Life Will be a Four-Part Book Series and Film Quadrilogy

LeBron James has his own book. And his own movie. He's not dead, nor is he retired. At 24 years old, he isn't remotely close to either of those milestones. Which is why the aforementioned forms of his biography are premature and unacceptable.

As LeBron enters his seventh professional season, he may be a veteran by experience standards, but hardly by tenure. Barring any debilitating injuries, he has at least ten more years in the tank. I guess the journey up to this point provides enough content to tell a thorough story, but without a ring on his finger and several more years ahead of him, is this all really necessary?

If you're LeBron's wallet, then yes. He's milking his saga more than J.K. Rowling.

If you want to tell a complete biography of one of the best players to lace 'em up, then FUCK NO.

Even if LeBron wins ring next year (which would be great, because both of these stories would be as meaningful as a ticket to Michael Jackson's European Tour), his story still isn't complete. I'm not about to pretend that I followed Michael Jordan's career to any extent (by the time I was born, he had four years of NBA experience), but what if this same shit came out about Jordan in the fall of 1990? Or even 1991, after his first ring?
Let's compare the resumes of both through their first six years:
Jordan: Olympic Gold Medalist, Rookie of the Year, MVP
LeBron: Olympic Gold Medalist, Rookie of the Year, MVP
As an unborn fetus, I had just as many rings as the both of them combined. Sure, there's a story here, but not a GODDAMN BOOK WITH BUZZ BISSINGER AND A FULL-BLOWN MOTION-PICTURE DOCUMENTARY. SHIT.

Look at "Hoop Dreams." Now that movie knew patience. They picked two high school prospects and followed them through college. It's not some schmuck compiling St. Vincent-St. Mary's clips and splicing in interviews like he's putting together "Buffalo Bill" womansuit. Relax, assholes. LeBron's story is like a budding 16-year old hottie. You could tag her now, but think of how much greater it will be to tag her in three, four, even five years?

I'll go out on a limb and predict that LeBron wins at least three titles before he retires. None of those titles will appear in "Shooting Stars" or "More than a Game." Unless Peter Jackson or the Wachowski Brothers jump on board for the continuation of LeBron's story, I will have nothing to fucking do with it. (Wilt Note: Except for this blog)

[Edit]: Just realized that the Bissinger book ends after LeBron's highschool career. So a doubly hearty FUCK YOU to "More Than A Game."