September 21, 2009
Toddler Diet Suddenly Acceptable?
Yes he is, and he also found a cure for the disease at halftime as well. What a coincidence?! He learned the key to overcoming H1N1 is to digest jelly and peanut butter smashed between two slices of bread with a side of grape Pedialyte. No word on what flavor jelly he used or whether the PB was chunky or smooth, but tests are being conducted on the U of T campus right now to find out the root of the miracle anti-swine flu diet. Meanwhile, the college football writers are considering handing him the Heisman now instead of December, 'cuz, I mean, he cured fucking swine flu while playing football.
Seriously though, why would anyone believe this? After a quick relapse back to your four year old diet, you just all of a sudden become better, both health and football wise. I call BS. You just needed an excuse for the pollsters of the Heisman to recognize that the first half was a case of the "my nose was runny and I couldn't grip the ball correctly." No thank you Colt. I don't believe you and your dreamy blue eyes and blond hair and chiseled pecs and... Dammit Dennis Rodman. What did I say about getting on my computer?