November 5, 2009

Leave Tom Cable Alone!

(Wilt Editor's Note: Bubb has always been a commander of the woman's equal rights movement. He is actively pursuing a degree in womens history with a minor in gynecology. He also has uses maxi pads daily, so don't label Bubb as a sexist. If anything you should be promoting this devotion.)

It's not enough that Tom Cable is stuck coaching a team that is the brunt of one-third of every NFL franchise joke (Browns, Redskins), and must educate a quarterback whose intellect would be complimented if called imbecilic. No, his world hasn't achieved an acceptable level of misery yet. Now, the coach is being ridiculed by the National Organization of Women (NOW), who want him ousted from his position.

Let's pause for a minute and appreciate that a group of woman organizers is called NOW. Women demanding immediacy?? Whodathunkit!

From an article on ESPN:

"NOW president Terry O'Neill said, 'Tom Cable's history of violence against women raises a question: Why is he still the head coach of an NFL team?'"

First of all, Terry is a man's name. Long ago, us men reserved the rights to Terry and conceded that you women could use Terri. It was a deal that made none too many a man happy, but chivalry, which still existed back then, made it so. HOW DARE YOU BREAK THIS SACRED BOND, BITCH.

Second, that quote has to be the most non-sequitur argument I have ever seen. Woman beater = unqualified NFL head coach? I'll go out on a limb and guess that Terry is not a vegetarian. So by that same token...chicken murderer = unsuitable to lead group of women?

If anything, this man's job description and background demand a history of violence. He would never succeed in coaching if he constantly had to apologize for arguing with players and admit that he was wrong, even when he wasn't.

Terry continues...

"Indeed, women have much more to lose than to gain by coming forward to tell their stories."

You're damn right! How about a barrage of Bob Ley, Colleen Dominguez and other ESPN publicity, all of which is essentially court testimony in your favor. Plus, women have a history of success when opening their mouths. Just ask Jenna Jameson.

Whether or not the allegations against Cable are true (and with Al Davis running the background checks, they most likely are), his job as a coach and his personal life are mutually exclusive. When Cable socked a fellow coach, it blew over faster than Kate Moss in a hurricane. The Massive Association of Not-women (see what I did there? It's lowercase for a reason) scoffed at the idea of persecuting Cable for man-on-man violence. So Terry, kindly get off your soapbox and find another venue to celebrate lesbianism.

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