November 2, 2009
Chris Johnson Video Tribute
Ah, good ole' fashioned 1920's racism, that was probably lyrically written from the exploits of Chris Johnson. Let's break down Johnson's Sunday afternoon. 24 carries, 228 yards, 2 touchdowns, 2 dicks. That's right. TWO DICKS. How else can a man create such a stat line and be melded in the form of a normal human man.
Chris Johnson is beyond human with his two dicks. And to enhance the unnatural characteristics of Mr. Johnson, he developed a set of dreads that elegantly sway across the letters of his last name on his (now) 1-6 Titans jersey. This oddity of a man is what helped this helpless team achieve it's win which now puts them in a category with the Chiefs, Rams, Lions, and Browns. It's always good to see godlike talents not going to waste.
Now, I don't have the mind reading ability to tap into Herm's mind, but I would bet that Herman would approve of his game. Chris Johnson showed some perseverance and clearly PLAYED TO WIN THE GAME.
(ed. note: this would have been up Sunday had I been in a location with internet, but unfortunately for me and you, Iowa hasn't achieved such advances in technology, so you get it today, AND YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING LIKE IT)