August 13, 2009

Like the Grinch on Christmas, Philadelphia's Heart Quintuples in Size, Opens its Arms to Mike Vick

Michael Vick has signed a two-year deal to play in the most hateful sports city in America. Go easy on him, Philly. As the news broke during the Monday Night Football telecast, Ron Jaworski immediately established his conviction that this will piss off Donovan McNabb.

Jaws, you fucknut. You wonder why Chris Mortenson got his own bus instead of you? The only teams Vick would possibly play quarterback for are the Bay Area abominations.

On a side note, I'm actually pretty shocked Al Davis didn't scoop him up. Maybe because his dimentia continuously caused him to forget Vick existed altogether.

Let's put aside the fact that Jaws' predisposed dislike for the pickup is only because he doesn't want Vick's past tainting the reputation of his former team. McNabb has proven that he's the only player who can evict himself from the starting job. Andy Reid knows better than to start a quarterback controversy this close to week one. Vick will be a receiver, tailback, Wildcat formation option and possibly a special teams contributor. That's it.

Mike, I wish you the best of luck. I'm excited to see you back in uniform. Kill 'em, dawg.


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