October 27, 2009

Larry Johnson Thinks Todd Haley is a Homo.

I was originally planning a blog about awesome NBA action tonight. Then this happened. Eh, whatever, it was gonna go something like this: blah blah blah LEBRON JAMES blah. So, instead of that, Larry Johnson will be supplying today's blog.

As a person who cheers/despises Kansas City sports, I am clearly credentialed enough to make an argument on Todd Haley and Larry Johnson. First comment of interest: Gay Joke. Of course, most have you heard the tweets about Larry talking trash on Haley's resume, but what some of you may have not read was how homophobic Larry is.

"think about a clever diss than that wit your fag pic. Christopher street boy. Is that what us east coast cats call u"

Obviously the gay community is outraged at this use of gay ass language, although I disagree with those homos. Look, have you seen a bundle of sticks before? No, well they look fucking gay, I might say, and it is an extremely harsh "diss" to call someone's picture a bundle of sticks. Larry was clearly trying to state that they guy's hair looked like a bunch of dried up branches. No harm there if you ask me. Although, if you are an arboreal enthusiast then I might understand your issue with Larry.

All that being said though, Larry does hate gays. I talk to him all the time, and he makes HIV jokes constantly. In fact, when he was told that a girl he was hitting on was bisexual, he spit on her face and slapped her with the back of his hand. So, he does have a problem with homophobianism, and it is also the reason Glenn Dorsey hasn't told the media about his sexual preference.

I find none of this Larry Johnson gayhating anyway out of line, and it shouldn't for anyone in this area. Last time I checked, Kansas' second best past time is gay hating, right behind adding religion into public school curricula.

Yet, Larry has been told to stay off the Chiefs campus. That means no more free buffets offered up by the Hunt family, or pin the flag on the KC Wolf games, and even enjoying the pleasures of the Truman Sports Complex.

See what he is missing out on. Open ranges and a Denny's, and all thanks to Todd Haley. Just for once Todd, can you be just a bit less egotistical. Larry hurt his feelings, and since Haley has mastered the Napoleon complex, he had to enforce his laws. Laws that he makes up on the run. Derrick Johnson, uhhhh, you're benched because you have an Oakley eye shield and I don't like Texas Alums. You, Pollard, you injured my beloved Tom Brady, get the fuck off my team. Now it's Larry, you hurt my feelings, don't talk to me anymore.

Now on a real note, I'm not trying to say Larry doesn't deserve to be kicked off the team, because he should have been dumped a year ago. Todd is just sweeping up the leftovers of the Carl Peterson era, so I'm not against the move. But, do it for his play on the field, or his slap happiness off the field, not because you got your feelings hurt.

In the end though, who the fuck cares. The Chiefs are striving to beat the Royals in losing percentage for the second year in a row. This just continues a series of depressing sports in Kansas City, as the last championship appearance was in 1985. For us Kansas City fans, the only hope we have of digging out of this Truman Complex shithole of teams is to buy the Kings back. I'll start the fund with the change from my lunch today. (reaches in pocket, groans, pulls out 35 cents and throws it on the table). There, and if you all do your 35 cents we can have the Kings. They can't be that expensive. Something like 30 bucks right? Right.

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