November 9, 2009

Don Drapers Selling Tactics: Draper Loses an Account

Roger Sterling: So Don, what are we gonna do about the Johnson account. You heard they cut the umbilical cord on him.

Don: (deep sigh) Yeah. I have him coming in in about ten minutes. I'll deal with him then.

Sterling: I know we've had our share of issues with him, but he is one hell of a negro to get drinks with.

Don: Would you shut the fuck up. I'm going through a divorce.

Sterling: I know, I know. Me and Jane have been having crazy 1960's missionary sex all week. I wouldn't be able to make it through a week without it. I don't know how you've done it.

Don: Oh it's ok. (lights cigarette) I've got relations with my daughter's teacher to tide me over

(Larry Johnson opens door)

Johnson: What's the matter Do...(trips over pencil laying on the ground).. n

Don: Can you have a seat. (stands up and walks to open bar) I don't think I need to ask you if you want one of these.

Johnson: You know me all to well Don. What's up though. You seem extra solemn today.

(Don and Sterling meet eyes and telepathically say "don't talk about the divorce")

Don: (Deep inhale) Well, (deep exhale) we got a call today from Scott Pioli. (Johnson's smile drops). We seem to have been let go by Kansas City.

Johnson: No. No. (spits out drink) NO. This can't happen. I was under contract.

Don: We were too, but (spoiler alert from season finale last night) we were pink slipped as well. Different situations, but you can certainly get cut.

Johnson: What do I do now?

Don: Well we have a few options. Seattle and Cleveland are possibilities and we are fielding options from them, but the money doesn't look good.

Johnson: How not good?

Don: League minimum.

Johnson: ........

Don: I'm sorry Larry.

Sterling: Hey, maybe now you can start coaching. You and your dad do have more experience than Todd Haley. You said it yourself. (Don glares disapprovingly)

Johnson: I...I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't afford to beat women without a job, especially if they throw criminal charges at me for it.

Don: It's the 60's Larry. Wife beating is a staple of our civilization. You're just fine. Take the day off, walk your dog, watch Scarface. We'll deal with this on a later date.

Johnson: Thank you Don. (walks out of office, trips over power cord)

Sterling: Boy, I'm glad we got paid up front for this guy.

Don: (nods) Yes. (stares at camera for 12 seconds) *commercial*

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