September 4, 2009

College Foot-A-Palooza: Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse

This is a new weekly blog that is going to compare the likes of college football and addictive drugs, and then roll it into a tight little blunt I like to call the Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then clearly you have participated in some Friday morning substance abuse. So get ready to sit Indian Native American style and stare at a bookshelf for 3 hours cause it's time to drop some acid.

The Cocaine for the week is Boise State. Mainly just for their utter domination of the Ducks last night in the season opener. Now they can sit back, bend a spoon, get their Robert Downey Jr. on, as they prance their way through the WAC. With the likes of Utah State looming in their future, there is no doubt that they will confuse the computers at the end of the season. These boy's are hiiiiiigh.

Since it is only one day into the season there isn't much else to work with, but we can go ahead and drop Oregon into the Acid category. Yeah, 'they be trippin' and it's not the good trippin. Somewhere between Oregon and Idaho, they stumbled upon something to make them look like they had just emerged from eight months of slumber. They were slow, not reactive, and worst of all, bad at football. It might just be a long road for the boys in green, white, yellow? black? magenta? in 2009

Finally, we have our Opium section which will be headlined with the awesome handshake rule that was enacted by the NCAA this offseason. Well, it didn't take long for them to realize the severity of their mistake.

As you can see, true sportsmanship comes from not getting players close enough to rattle the shit out of them. Therefore, as I said in my earlier blog, this is good for the viewers. Right hooks always beat right hand shakes as far as I'm concerned. Now, Georgia and Oklahoma State are going to refrain from the forced sportsmanship for their game on Saturday. Man, when I'm right, I'm right. It's like I take peyote and see premonitions of whats happening in the future college football season. Ya...Go Drugs

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